Left Vs Right. Lets get ready to Rumble!!!!!!!! DING DING Lets fight!!! [Part 2]
December 19th 2007 10:15
So last blog I bitched and moaned about the left and in the name of fairness I will attack those EVIL sons of a bitches who eat babies and fornicate with night elves while singing god save the queen! That's right ladies and gentlemen I will stair down Satan and attack the RIGHT!!! MWHAHAHAHA. Before I start my onslaught I need to state that I find the right to be a very diverse group and because of this I find it hard to attack in a direct manner but I'll give it my best shot!
So I think I should start off this story by shearing with you a personal tail of my own with the Religious Right. It all started one day when I was walking down the street to work and there was this tool that stood on the side of the road holding signs of a Fetus and yelling something about telling us to vote Family first to stop the murder of unborn children. Anyways I passed this old bastard every few days and one day I was feeling a little antagonistic towards him so I went up and was like "So whats all this killing babies stuff about?"
This guy dropped his placard and smiled and handed me some leaflets about blah this and blah that and eat babies and blah blah blah. He then said basically because of the "Left" Lesbians run rampart and god hates us and so to fix this we all need to vote Family first or some crap. So I said, well if you stop the babies from being murdered then you will be setting back my plan for global domination!
He looked at me with this real queer look and said I beg your pardon. So I got real close to him and whispered "I am the lord of lies, I was once gods most loved and favored angel, I am Lucifer and I will take this word and I will have your soul and I shall feast upon your despair!!!!!" I even did a little dramatic voice raising at the end and give this really evil look I can pull off every now and then!!!
He to then got this crazy look in his eye and we were like having this crazy eye stair off competition which seemed to go on forever and then he suddenly shouted something about Jesus and casting me out and proceeded to slap me so hard I saw stars! It really hurt but hey I more than deserved it but I did fell the need to retaliate so I sort of stood there and stared him down some more and he did the same back and then I just farted really loud and shot him with a "take that" look. I then continued down the street to work again singing sympathy for the devil by the rolling stones really loud!
Now 2 great things came from this encounter from the religious right. Firstly I have a sweet story to tell and secondly he decided he no longer wanted to preach on the street Satan uses to get to work so I never had to see his stupid arse again.
The right though as I said before is very very diverse unlike the left. The left basically fall into 2 main groups. First one this the guilty middle class who are just basically everyone over 30 that have a good comfortable life and feel bad for it so they have their causes like "Say Sorry Day" and "Punch a Nun for S.I.D.S Research" but they never really do anything that will actually do something, they just uses their causes to shed their guilt. The second group being made up of hippies and young people all wanting to hug a wale and mate with a tree but have no real clue on reality. They are just pissed off cause they are young or they are just really whiny bitches just preach what ever they are told by the tool with the biggest dreads.
*side note, ROVE STILL SUCKS GOATS PENISES!*
Now the right well they seem to fall into a bunch of other categories I'll do a little list for you and give a little bitch at the end of the description to tell you what is HOMO with the right.
1) Non-guilty middle class. Now these are exactly like the guilty middle class but are just a bunch of sociopaths who don't give a shit about anything that dose not contribute in a positive way their finances and lives. They like their jet skis, boats and collection of fishing rods. They tend to just bitch and moan about how single mothers are raping the economy and the aboriginals are trying to take away their back yard.
2)Super Rich Bastards. OK these guys and gals share something in common with the youth of this fine planet and that is they don't live in reality. They have so much money they have really lost touch and tend to just tour around the world with their millions while riding dolphins and like nothing more than to state how important they are and push governments around with their money. This is done so they can make them selves get richer which means that money dose have to come from some ware so they rape the middle and lower classes while making them sign an AWA and tells them how much better it will be for everyone. Really meaning how good it will be for them.
3)Religious Right. OK well they love god. So god being god tells them to try and outlaw, Abortion, Euthanasia, Long Hair, Gay marriage, Science, most Movies, Santa, Porn, and Angry Ben. Ugh now anyone that knows me knows how much these jerk offs piss me off!!!! They are just a bunch of hate filled ignorant assholes that need to just build a big old time machine and travel back to the dark ages where they can burn witches at the stake!
4) Ignorant Poor Right. These silly buggers just work hard, drink, make babies and complain about how life is to hard and they just hate everyone and anything from, foreigners to Muslims to anyone that isn't renting and owns their own house. Politicians just love getting these votes because its easy and their are a lot of them. All they do is just say how foreign terrorists are praising Allah and buying up all our land while sneaking in on boats.
5) Angry Ben. Oh this guy is just a smug little prick who thinks he knows everything and believes the world could not turn with out him. He is like this because his parents have bad genes and blessed him with an incredibly small penis and the stamina of a three toed sloth. His just an ass and its best to ignore him
6) Yuppies. These go getters drink martinis and do E on the weekend while telling each other how amazing their business is going to be and how they only date models and how much they can bench press at the gym! Fuck them I have always hated these bastards as for some god dam reason when I go out some silly yuppie tart who wants to "slum it" decides to try me and I usually fall for it cause they are hot. I then wake up beside them and listen to them tell me how god dam shallow they are and how image and money is everything. Jesus if I ever did one again I swear when I wake up and are done hating myself I will dump a turd on her chest!
Now these are all I can think of right now but what is worse is they interbreed so you can get crazy combinations like the Religious Ignorant Poor Right or the Religious Super Rich Bastards and so it goes on.
The thing is though it really dose not matter what you believe, within reason of course. Left or Right isn't a problem its just as long as you don't believe your way is the only way and shut your self in your little bubble of reality and ignore the world around you. One needs to be ever evolving and open to criticism. It is through this process we will evolve into a better society. Maybe one day it will be so good the angels are like "Fuck heaven its gay I'm off to earth to live the good life!"
OK now for a little news update. It appears Rudd has now signed Kyoto agreement which ends in 2012 and no one really committed to anything in Bali climate conference. That was just a fucking let down but hey the government is telling us it is a great success. I guess his idea of success and mine differ greatly but hey I would LOVE to be proved wrong on this !!!! On the positive though he proved me wrong last week and did sign Kyoto! Good for him!!!
So may hippies who live in glass houses throw many stones are die from lacerated arteries.
Ps: Just one more thing sorry, If anyone who reads this and feels like they would like to contribute to www.angryben.net with their own musings on the world please let me know and show me a draft of your work and if I deem it worthy by laughing so hard I squirt urine I will add you as a writer!
So I think I should start off this story by shearing with you a personal tail of my own with the Religious Right. It all started one day when I was walking down the street to work and there was this tool that stood on the side of the road holding signs of a Fetus and yelling something about telling us to vote Family first to stop the murder of unborn children. Anyways I passed this old bastard every few days and one day I was feeling a little antagonistic towards him so I went up and was like "So whats all this killing babies stuff about?"
This guy dropped his placard and smiled and handed me some leaflets about blah this and blah that and eat babies and blah blah blah. He then said basically because of the "Left" Lesbians run rampart and god hates us and so to fix this we all need to vote Family first or some crap. So I said, well if you stop the babies from being murdered then you will be setting back my plan for global domination!
He looked at me with this real queer look and said I beg your pardon. So I got real close to him and whispered "I am the lord of lies, I was once gods most loved and favored angel, I am Lucifer and I will take this word and I will have your soul and I shall feast upon your despair!!!!!" I even did a little dramatic voice raising at the end and give this really evil look I can pull off every now and then!!!
He to then got this crazy look in his eye and we were like having this crazy eye stair off competition which seemed to go on forever and then he suddenly shouted something about Jesus and casting me out and proceeded to slap me so hard I saw stars! It really hurt but hey I more than deserved it but I did fell the need to retaliate so I sort of stood there and stared him down some more and he did the same back and then I just farted really loud and shot him with a "take that" look. I then continued down the street to work again singing sympathy for the devil by the rolling stones really loud!
Now 2 great things came from this encounter from the religious right. Firstly I have a sweet story to tell and secondly he decided he no longer wanted to preach on the street Satan uses to get to work so I never had to see his stupid arse again.
The right though as I said before is very very diverse unlike the left. The left basically fall into 2 main groups. First one this the guilty middle class who are just basically everyone over 30 that have a good comfortable life and feel bad for it so they have their causes like "Say Sorry Day" and "Punch a Nun for S.I.D.S Research" but they never really do anything that will actually do something, they just uses their causes to shed their guilt. The second group being made up of hippies and young people all wanting to hug a wale and mate with a tree but have no real clue on reality. They are just pissed off cause they are young or they are just really whiny bitches just preach what ever they are told by the tool with the biggest dreads.
*side note, ROVE STILL SUCKS GOATS PENISES!*
Now the right well they seem to fall into a bunch of other categories I'll do a little list for you and give a little bitch at the end of the description to tell you what is HOMO with the right.
1) Non-guilty middle class. Now these are exactly like the guilty middle class but are just a bunch of sociopaths who don't give a shit about anything that dose not contribute in a positive way their finances and lives. They like their jet skis, boats and collection of fishing rods. They tend to just bitch and moan about how single mothers are raping the economy and the aboriginals are trying to take away their back yard.
2)Super Rich Bastards. OK these guys and gals share something in common with the youth of this fine planet and that is they don't live in reality. They have so much money they have really lost touch and tend to just tour around the world with their millions while riding dolphins and like nothing more than to state how important they are and push governments around with their money. This is done so they can make them selves get richer which means that money dose have to come from some ware so they rape the middle and lower classes while making them sign an AWA and tells them how much better it will be for everyone. Really meaning how good it will be for them.
3)Religious Right. OK well they love god. So god being god tells them to try and outlaw, Abortion, Euthanasia, Long Hair, Gay marriage, Science, most Movies, Santa, Porn, and Angry Ben. Ugh now anyone that knows me knows how much these jerk offs piss me off!!!! They are just a bunch of hate filled ignorant assholes that need to just build a big old time machine and travel back to the dark ages where they can burn witches at the stake!
4) Ignorant Poor Right. These silly buggers just work hard, drink, make babies and complain about how life is to hard and they just hate everyone and anything from, foreigners to Muslims to anyone that isn't renting and owns their own house. Politicians just love getting these votes because its easy and their are a lot of them. All they do is just say how foreign terrorists are praising Allah and buying up all our land while sneaking in on boats.
5) Angry Ben. Oh this guy is just a smug little prick who thinks he knows everything and believes the world could not turn with out him. He is like this because his parents have bad genes and blessed him with an incredibly small penis and the stamina of a three toed sloth. His just an ass and its best to ignore him
6) Yuppies. These go getters drink martinis and do E on the weekend while telling each other how amazing their business is going to be and how they only date models and how much they can bench press at the gym! Fuck them I have always hated these bastards as for some god dam reason when I go out some silly yuppie tart who wants to "slum it" decides to try me and I usually fall for it cause they are hot. I then wake up beside them and listen to them tell me how god dam shallow they are and how image and money is everything. Jesus if I ever did one again I swear when I wake up and are done hating myself I will dump a turd on her chest!
Now these are all I can think of right now but what is worse is they interbreed so you can get crazy combinations like the Religious Ignorant Poor Right or the Religious Super Rich Bastards and so it goes on.
The thing is though it really dose not matter what you believe, within reason of course. Left or Right isn't a problem its just as long as you don't believe your way is the only way and shut your self in your little bubble of reality and ignore the world around you. One needs to be ever evolving and open to criticism. It is through this process we will evolve into a better society. Maybe one day it will be so good the angels are like "Fuck heaven its gay I'm off to earth to live the good life!"
OK now for a little news update. It appears Rudd has now signed Kyoto agreement which ends in 2012 and no one really committed to anything in Bali climate conference. That was just a fucking let down but hey the government is telling us it is a great success. I guess his idea of success and mine differ greatly but hey I would LOVE to be proved wrong on this !!!! On the positive though he proved me wrong last week and did sign Kyoto! Good for him!!!
So may hippies who live in glass houses throw many stones are die from lacerated arteries.
Ps: Just one more thing sorry, If anyone who reads this and feels like they would like to contribute to www.angryben.net with their own musings on the world please let me know and show me a draft of your work and if I deem it worthy by laughing so hard I squirt urine I will add you as a writer!
| 142 |
| Vote |
subscribe to this blog
